Studio Diary #24 September 6th 2004.

I'm going out of my fucking mind.We have GOT to finish this record ASAP before I end up in a bloody mental insitution. I can't honestly take much more of this and I'm not bloody joking.I HATE the studio.I fucking HATE it.It's just KILLING me.It's like everything just slows down and all the excitment and the momentum and the energy of life just completely dissipates for me and I'm left with a hopeless,sludgy emptiness inside.It's so horrible.
To cheer myself up I'm remembering something SUPER weird that happened to me earlier on this summer.It all began with a renewed desire to smoke.The habit I have more or less kept in check for nearly a decade suddenly came back with a vengence along with an uncontrollable urge to eat the heads off burnt matches.I then noticed that I was beginning to salivate when passing over gravel or soil of any kind and I had to admit to close friends that I was having to fight the urge to get down on my knees and eat dirt!!!!! Ha ha ahaaa......I am laughing really hard right now as I type this.........but it's so true.Mercifully I was diagnosed as being anemic shortly thereafter and was put on huge big iron pills and as a result my compulsions to smoke cigarettes, chew burnt matchheads and eat dirt disappeared as fast as it had come upon me but the condition is known as PICA and is apparently a common condition amongst people who are anemic. Good lord........whatever next?
This afternoon I am the appointment queen.I have made so many appointments that it's laughable.
I have made appointments at the audiologist,the dentist,the ENT specialist,the pedicurist, the hairdresser,the optrician,the doctor,the trainer,the facialist and the accupuncturist.How's that for pro-active neurosis? I told you didn't I? I'm losing my mind!!!!
Justin came in last night to put the last of the bass parts down.It's always good to see him and we had a good laugh over Napoleon Dynamite.Justin's impersonation of him is spot on.It even beat out Duke's which is really saying something because Duke is something of an impersonator whizz.
Joined my name to the NHS organ donation register today in the event of my timely or indeed untimely death.It felt a little strange to go online and fill out a form dictating what doctors can or cannot pillage from my cold lifeless body after I quit this mortal coil but I felt pretty good afterwards knowing that I had taken care of my life-after-death business although it was such an easy thing to do and took so little time and effort that I confess it was a little spooky.
I wonder if there's a similar organization in America where I can register my organs incase I don't drop in my own homeland? I mean.....I want my precious parts to be nice and fresh if they are to show up in someone elses body.I want to put on a good show regardless of whether I'm dead or not, that's for sure.Don't want to be giving away no low grade rotting organs.This is prime meat baby.Prime meat.And I want it fresh as a daisy.Besides..........why take a transatlantic flight when you don't have to.
Read a crazy story on AOL this morning about a guy who was trying to shoot a puppy in the head but as he held the gun to the dog's head the doomed pup struggled to get away and inadvertently pushed his paw against the trigger,shooting the very man who was holding him!!!! Isn't that fantastic? The AOL headline read: "Man shot by Puppy"
I kid you not!!
Ha ha ha haaa................
Got a phone call from Debbie H yesterday.You have absolutely no idea how fucking insanely surreal it is to pick up your cell phone and hear her voice coming down the line.Debbie FUCKING Harry!!!! Are you kidding me?!?!??!
That's too hot.......just way too hot.I can't believe I'm going to be singing with Blondie! BLONDIE?!!? HELL........what on EARTH am I going to wear? I haven't been on stage for so long,I've completely forgotten what it feels like.I'm going to be so bloody nervous.
The last time I performed was at the end of May when I sang a couple of songs with a Jazz quartet for the closing down of the Oscar Meyer theatre here in Madison.I wore a white flower in my hair and a long sparkly pink gown and I stood under a lone spotlight and sang "The Man I Love" and I thought I was going to die of contentment right there and then. I mean.........Peggy Lee was one of the first singers I ever fell in love with as a little girl and it's been my life's dream to sing some of those old standards with great jazz musicians behind me.
And so it was my good fortune to sing whilst Richard Davis played the double bass and oh my...........it gave me the chills hearing him play.He's just so amazing.
At one point during rehearsal he looked over at me.............and he gruffly asked "You ever sang Jazz before?" and I sheepishly squeeked "No sir" and he nodded slowly a few times,a glimmer of a smile in his eyes and then finally said " Well it suits you.Suits the sound of your voice.You gotta a lot of air coming out and so that tone of yours........it's beautiful".
And right then............sitting there in that little office of his at the University of Wisconsin I felt like I was going to pass out with pleasure.This was coming from a man who used to play with Sarah Vaughan. SARAH fucking VAUGHAN. Oh my lord.............
I'm in a really fucking BAD MOOD today.I quite literally just got out the wrong side of my bed.I am doing my best to avoid having to deal with any human being on any level but the effort to keep myself closeted away is annoying me further. I think I need to find a kick boxing class here in madison.I haven't done any boxing since I left LA and I can feel the tension building in my body.It's pretty hard to keep a sense of calm in this world these days.I don't know how other people do it.
Attended a funeral yesterday which was just heartbreaking and intense and it's left me with this hideously empty and fearful feeling inside.